Death. Again. And Awareness.

Death. We all know (more or less) that it is coming, but when it does, it is still always a surprise. Even though I expected my father to die sooner rather than later because of his advanced Morbus Parkinsons disease, when he did die seven days ago, the shock and grief and sadness was just as heavy on my heart as if it had been a sudden, completely unexpected death.

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Two years ago today Steve died.

My antennas are on high alert. During a recent dinner conversation, someone formed his fingers into the shape of a revolver and held it up to his jaw, to illustrate some concept he was talking about. Immediately bright images flashed by my inner eye about Steve’s murder and his last moments. It took the greatest determination not to lose it completely. Two years today it happened: my personal and heartbreaking representation of the evil, sickness, and violence that is alive in the world every single day. 730 days ago.

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YES! Teaching Tantra Again

YES, I will be teaching Tantra again! I wrote the following blog post a couple of months ago but am only ready to share it publicly now. Here it goes: For the longest time, I didn’t listen to music. After Steve died, hearing any kind of melody tore me apart. It has gotten a lot better, and a couple of months ago I even decided to listen to one of my favorite dance songs that we used to play during our workshops. My body fell into dance movements, gently and totally by itself, when out of the blue, as if struck by lightning, I realized that I want to continue teaching and coaching Tantra. Believe me, it was a complete surprise for me!

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The White Wall

All of the interior walls of my temporary home in Denmark are freshly painted in bright white. My fingers poised on the computer keyboard, I raise my eyes to the stark white wall in front of me. Nothing. Emptiness. My fingers are not moving. Nothing is being typed. A gigantic clean slate is laid out in front of me. I have not written a single blog post for five weeks. Why? Simple. There is nothing forthcoming. The story has been told. Now what?

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