One more Year
I’m still missing Steve but I guess that will be so until my last breath. Unbelievable that a whole year has passed since my last blog post which I wrote on the day that marked six years since Steve died. Today, well, it’s been seven years.
In my life “7” has always been significant. For example, at age 14 I had a spiritual experience that set me on the tantric path. At 21 I became deeply involved in the field of my spiritual teacher and lived close to him. At 35 I rose in love with Steve and moved to the US. Always, cycles of 7 have signified the end and the beginning of a new phase.
So today, seven years after my beloved was murdered, the manuscript for my book is complete. Some 68,000 words are written, edited, re-edited, shaped, re-read and reviewed a thousand times. The final result is an intense and moving reading experience that spans the arch of me living in Australia, meeting Steve and being together for 17 years, and ending when I released his ashes into the sea.
There are anecdotes from our marriage, from teaching Tantra together, and from my childhood in Northern Germany, interspersed with spiritual insights into dealing with life-threatening cancer, loss, grief, murder and court drama, and the ultimate triumph: that I am still alive today, healthy and having achieved balance again in my life.
It could be considered a true crime memoir, a spiritual memoir, a transformational memoir… there is so much in this story that I find it difficult to categorize. But what I do know is that even I, the one who went through everything that is now a written book, can’t stop crying and at times laughing, when I read it!
What is most important to me is that this story will touch many, many people, whether they are finding themselves in times of crisis, or are intrigued by the story and wonder how this woman Lokita got through it all, or they simply want to read an engrossing, inspiring memoir. I hope that many readers will accept my invitation to reflect deeply on the way they live and think, and share more love and joy with themselves, each other, and those around them.
And so this 7-year mark feels like the beginning of the new phase as I am ready to present myself as a writer with a completed manuscript who is looking for representation and publishing; trusting, as always, that life will support my purpose and higher vision.
On another note, my Wonderdog Coco and I are both well. We spend most of our days and nights together and her unconditional love, enthusiasm and presence touch me deeply, again and again. She had an operation for some strange tumors in July which fortunately turned out to be harmless. My own regular medical checkups have shown nothing but excellent health, and I enjoy my life as much as I possibly can. I’m still missing Steve but I guess that will be so until my last breath.
Hi Lokita. What great news! The book is finally here. Have you considered an audio version of it? Nowadays I don’t sit down to read as much as I would like. But I listen to audio books. Podcasts are great too. Have you considered having your own Lokita’s Podcast? It would be phenomenal to continue listening to your wisdom 😘
Lolita
Dave & I remember You & Steve so fondly. We took a workshop at Harbin many many years ago when we lived in California. We loved both your spirits & beautiful energy.
Sending you peaceful hugs from Houston soon to be in Oregon.
Congratulations, Lokita! Yaaaay! So when/where can we buy your book?! Much Love…
Hi Lokita,
So wonderful to hear that you and Coco are doing well. I’m happy to report that I have a wonderful woman as a partner, lover, tantric partner, spiritual seeker, adventurer and best friend. I think of you and Steve often and I’m eternally grateful for your friendship and teachings. I too miss Steve
With love and gratitude,
Mark 💖
I will read every page..just looked at photos from our time together in Costa Rica..always a beautiful memory
Wie schön von dir zu hören und das es Euch gut geht, freut mich sehr.
I look forward to reading your book. Blessings!
Lokita, it is wonderful to hear from you again; how good you and Coco both look, rich and full, after all the hard experiences you have been through together. Look at all your lovely hair! And Coco looks beautifully seasoned and wise; I am glad that she has made it through her health challenges too. You are both an inspiration to me on not giving up on life. Congratulations on finishing your book – I immediately looked for the link to buy it, but I see that there are more steps to go. May the perfect agent arrive for you -you know they will! And I will look forward to reading it. Recently I came upon a blog post written by an author I did not know, but am deeply impressed by – and I thought of you, thinking “Lokita might appreciate this”, remembering back to discussions of loss and grief – something I am having to endure now having just lost my own doggirl. You may know this author, as she is as honest and real as you are, but if not, I would love to share this post of hers: https://laurenbdavis.com/2022/04/24/mary-oliver-brother-phap-dung-and-small-white-dogs-my-dog-is-dying-part-iii/#comment-12060. No, the loss never leaves but we heal around it like an oyster. Thank you for sharing your journey and let us know when your book is in print! Love and joy to you.
Congratulations! I look forward to reading your book. Wonderful that you can help others by sharing your story.
So happy to hear your book is complete. We can hardly wait to read it and to be able to laugh and cry with you. We miss Steve also and think of both of you often. Much joy to you and CoCo as you move through life together.
Book or no book, you are loved!
Und wieder berührt mich dein Text und dein Bild mit Coco tief, liebe Lokita. Es schwingt all das was du bescheibst zu mir… die Schönheit und Gnade des Lebens, wenn wir dankbar sind. Ich freue mich jetzt schon darauf dein Buch zu lesen. Herzlich Yvonne
Lokita, I don’t know you and I didn’t know Audrey Carey or Steve. But I’ve been thinking of all three of you on the seventh anniversary of this profoundly disturbing crime. God bless the loyal Coco for staying with Steve that day, despite her own trauma. Peace be with you all.
A joy to hear this news!
Where/when is the book available?
Take good care, Lokita!
Lokita, congratulations on your book, continued health and healing. I’m still here too completing cycles
aaaaaahhhh (the sound of deep breath on the Sylt dunes with sunshine on the skin)
Dear Lokita
I am so glad both you and coco are doing well.
Congratulation on you book
Yes for me it’s 8 years that my son was killed,I think of you often you have helped me
Moving forward.Looking forward to read your book.
Best karin
Congratulations on your manuscript Lokita! We can’t wait to read it and remember Steve and your beautiful teachings. We are so glad to hear you and Coco are well and enjoying life to the fullest! Sending you lots of love and gratitude ❤️
Congratulations on getting everything down on the paper and (hopefully soon) available for the world to read. Given all you have experienced, I am sure that the writing process must have been quite a journey. You have touched so many lives through the years, including mine, even if for a moment. May blessings continue in your life, in whatever form they come.
Lokita – so happy to see your smiling face and beautiful wonderdog Coco. I eagerly await the publication of your book! Your writings have been so inspirational and meaningful to me and so many others.
Sending much love and hugs to you and Coco, Sue
So wonderful to hear and see from you and congratulations on your book manuscript. Here’s to the next 7!
Looking forward to reading your book! Glad you and Coco are good, seven fast years since our hearts broke when Steve was taken, I’m changed forever and choose to remember all the good we did and had at the time. I ache daily missing my buddy, and you as well. What a miracle it was that we were all able to spend so much time together and how easy it was to do. Nothing ever stays the same. Except the love part! That’s still here.