Reaching for Sunrise: A Widow’s Memoir

Behind the High-Profile Murder of Steve Carter

When cancer threatened to claim her life, Lokita’s fierce battle against the disease was only the beginning of her harrowing journey. As she fought to survive, her world shattered in a shocking act of violence that took the life of her beloved husband and renowned Tantra instructor, Steve Carter.

Set against the backdrop of serene, affluent Marin County in Northern California, Lokita’s life made an unexpected turn. On a tranquil early evening, Steve walked their dog, Coco, on a popular hiking trail near Fairfax, California. The peaceful community was rocked when Steve is brutally murdered, shot dead by three young homeless drifters, sending shockwaves far beyond the idyllic enclave and into the global media.

Reaching for Sunrise is Lokita’s powerful and poignant memoir, revealing the depths of her loss, her relentless pursuit of justice in the courtroom, and her simultaneous battle with aggressive breast cancer. With a quiet cadence, Lokita shares her extraordinary journey, interspersed with unexpected moments of humor and grace that illuminate her narrative.

Readers will be swept away by Lokita’s transformation of trauma into unwavering courage, allowing her to rise above the tragedy and rebuild her life. Reaching for Sunrise offers a delicate balance of hope and resilience, inviting those who have experienced loss, grappled with illness, confronted violent crime, or simply seek inspiration to embark on a heartfelt journey through the threads of love and courage that connect us all.

Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books and everywhere where books are sold.

Amazon (all formats)

Or get your copy of the ebook right here:

Buy: Reaching for Sunrise (epub) 12.00 USD

The epub format can be read on almost any device. If you require a pdf version of the book, please contact Lokita.

The Audiobook is also available directly from Lokita

The audiobook is narrated by Lokita Carter. She wrote, “Somehow, I felt an even deeper sense of fulfillment than when I had completed the actual manuscript. With gratitude that listeners could join me on this intense journey by hearing my voice, I now look forward to inspiring courage and hope in many, many people, knowing that my spoken words would touch hearts long beyond my own lifetime.”

**Now 50% off**

Buy: Reaching for Sunrise (Audio) 10.00 USD


A Review by Debra DeAngelo

Author of “Pagan Curious: A Beginner’s Guide to Nature, Magic & Spirituality”

“Reaching for Sunrise: A Widow’s Memoir is not a story about death. It’s a story about survival. It is one woman’s struggle to remain upright on a path that suddenly went from blissful to brutal. Lokita has lived the entire spectrum of human emotion, from sparkling elation to bitter despair — and, she has lived all of that in full saturation.

From the first page, you’ll be captivated by an unimaginably delightful love story, and captured by the sudden spin of fate with a one, two, three punch of cancer, fire, and murder. What happened to Lokita and her beloved husband Steve is once again, unimaginable.

Most of us would be so completely shattered by what Lokita has endured, we might just give up on life itself. Yet through it all, Lokita managed to gather up a few shards of joy and determination, patch her spirit together as best she could, and rise from the ashes of her life and move forward. Ultimately, this is a story not of tragedy, but of moving forward anyway. Reaching for sunrise, yes. But also striving for survival, anyway.

The writing is brilliant, and the story breathtaking. Truly, this is a story you will take to heart; that will return to you should you find yourself facing something seemingly unendurable, to realize that you can get through it anyway. It is a story you will never, ever forget.”


Readers’ Voices

“This story tells us about loss, grief and tough survival, and yet at the same time it’s a tale of hope, renewal, deep love and joy regained. Written with a light hand, and yet full of wisdom, at no time is it voyeuristic, despite never flinching from telling the truth about terrible events and suffering. It never preaches; nevertheless, in the best possible way, it can teach us so much. I will read it again, give it to my friends and keep it to hand.”


“Reaching for Sunrise is a powerful reminder that life can change in an instant, taking us from a place of happiness to one of total heartbreak. The author’s journey from a blissful beginning to a devastating tragedy, and ultimately to a place of healing and hope, is beautifully captured in this book. She shows us that even in our darkest moments, there is always a glimmer of light on the horizon, waiting for us to reach for it.

Reaching for Sunrise is an intense and uplifting read that will leave you feeling inspired and hopeful for the future.”


“That Lokita Carter survived to write this book defies the odds. Her compelling and intimate true story of choosing to live through her gut-wrenching trials is deeply inspiring. She had everything, and blow (cancer) by devastating blow (murder), lost nearly everything. The saga of how she and Coco the Wonderdog not only survived, but ultimately thrived, repeatedly brought me to tears. This book is worth your time.”


“Reaching for Sunrise, a memoir by Lokita Carter, is an incredibly powerful story of love, loss, and resilience in the face of the unthinkable–the brutal and senseless murder of Steve Carter, a beloved Tantra teacher. In this book, Lokita Carter shares deeply from her heart, her own journey of healing from multiple tragedies: Steve’s murder investigation and ultimate conviction of his assailants; her own harrowing dance of life and death as she battled a rare and aggressive form of cancer, and the life threatening injury to Coco, their wunderdog who was also brutally attacked.

While this book reveals never before disclosed information about a story that made national headlines, the true beauty of it lies in the personal transformation of the author and the way in which her spiritual and tantric path gave her the strength, resilience, and grace to not only survive, but to recreate herself and her life. The lessons are many; acceptance, surrender, presence, trust–but the ultimate lesson she imparts in Reaching for Sunrise is about the power of love.”


“There are not many life stories that touch the heart as profoundly as this one.”


“The word that comes to mind while reading Lokita’s memoir, is “Fullness”. She invites us readers into the fullness of the story of her life:  sharing her experiences in vivid detail, the moments of highest joy and deepest love, violently interrupted by excruciating times of heartbreaking loss and a fierce confrontation with the threat of death. I am inspired by her strong capacity to allow and describe the fullness of profoundly vulnerable moments, live and relive them and then move beyond them. She is a living example of someone who finds her way out of the darkest moments back into the light of a full life.

This heartmoving story is very well written and hauntingly evocative, it was hard to put the book down.”


“This book is a page turner, many times I couldn’t put it down. It moved me deeply in all the right ways, sometimes I felt sadness about the tragedy Lokita has to endure, other times I was moved with joy and hope, when she shares about the beauty of friendship and community. I’m truly grateful that Lokita shares her story with the world because it will inspire us all to trust and follow our own unique path and visions, no matter what. It’s an invitation and important reminder to make the best out of every day and live NOW.”


“Reaching for Sunrise” is a beautiful book. It’s about an insane murder, life-threatening illness, and an improbable, miraculous resurrection. To me, it is the most profound tantric initiation, akin to the ordeals and radical practices that Yeshe Tsogyal, the founder of SkyDancing Tantra, endured. Lokita, who was the main SkyDancing Tantra teacher in the USA for many years, offers readers a rare glimpse into the courage it takes to transcend the most terrible adversity and open the door to a new life.


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