Gratitude
Yesterday I went to an ecstatic dance event for the first time in nine months. I wildly danced and danced, dancing away all the heaviness of cancer, chemo, and the cold, gloomy winter. After almost three hours of catharsis, I sat down on a warm rock, with an ocean view, bathing in the glow of the setting sun. Gratitude flooded my heart and flowed in rivers of sweet tears down my cheeks.
That I am still alive is nothing short of a miracle! Chemotherapy was completed in March, and now I’m on so-called maintenance therapy (aka immunotherapy) to support the excellent results of the surgery and chemo. For the foreseeable future I will receive infusions of Durvalumab every four weeks and take daily pills of Olaparib.
The gratitude I feel is for—everything. The Divine Mystery. Life. My body. The surgeons who gave over seven hours of their lives to cut the cancer out of my belly. The scientists who developed the medication. My health insurance, which pays for it all. My friends and family who fed me, walked Coco my Wonderdog when I couldn’t, who listened to me, held me when I cried, and offered their arm when I was too weak to walk on the beach alone, who cheered me on when I wanted to die, and set me back on the right track when I was going down the long tunnel of despair and hopelessness.
Gratitude that my hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows have returned so I look like a healthy human being. That my appetite is back, and I like eating again! Gratitude that the side effects of the medications I receive now are minimal (compared to chemotherapy). Gratitude for the warm sun rays of spring, the virginal leaves, the flowers, the birdsong, the sound of the ocean waves breaking. Grateful for the right clothes that keep me warm, and the ability to walk along the streets filled with peaceful fellow human beings. Grateful that my dog is still by my side, alive and well at 13 years and four months. Gratitude for my fine team and friends in Costa Rica for holding the fort there and loving me from afar. And gratitude to my community from all over the world for countless messages of encouragement and support.
Gratitude for my own inner strength that’s been keeping me sane despite all the challenges of the past few months—death, pain, suffering, uncertainty, impermanence.
And always, gratitude for my life-long spiritual path of Tantra and being an Osho sannyasin, holding me in a constant fertile stream of trust and love. 💓
“The eyes of gratitude can see God everywhere. Gratitude gives a penetration to the eyes. The eyes become like arrows. They simply go to the very core of existence. All becomes transparently clear and loud.” ~Osho, joyfully excerpted from the darshan diary, Hallelujah!
Dearest
Sending you much love and big hugs 🥰
Gratitude to You dear Lokita, for All you are and for sharing You, Your Journey, Your Love through it All…I am Grateful to read this…Thank You for being You …always with love, Melantha
Such a beautiful spirit radiating from your core!
Oh Lokita, I’m so happy to hear you’re doing so well! As always, you’re an inspiration! 💜 I’ve been meaning to reach out to you recently, as I think of you often and am always sending you lots of love and rooting for you from afar. 🙏💜
❤️❤️❤️
You’re as beautiful as you have always been
Dearest Lokita – so wonderful to hear from yoi the good news of your recovery. My prayers are with you and I send my love and support and deep appteciation for who you are.
Hope to see you one of these days. Please let me know how I can meet you.
I will be back in the Bay Area after May 20.
Lots of hugs 🤗🤗🤗 your sister Gaia
You brought a smile to my face as I read this. You are an inspiration to all of us. And you are the best. Just the best. Whatever disease settles in on me as I entered my mid-70s, you are there teaching me how to take it one day at a time. You have touched all of us in a very, very positive way.
Dearest Lokita, Dhanyam and I are so very happy to hear your good news and feel your strength. Much gratitude, indeed!
Grateful for your teachings
You are a fantastic being, Lokita, and you deserve every bit of that joy! I have followed your story from the first days of that horrific nightmare here in Marin, so it is especially sweet to see how you have emerged from it all, ripe with life. So glad to know Coco is still walking faithfully by your side. And I hope you are also grateful for your beautiful teeth! They give you an awesome smile. Reading about your gratitude is transmitting sparkles of joy through my body. Thank you!
Sending love and best wishes, all ways.
/gl
I’m so glad to see you and Coco smiling! And I’m so grateful for your message (and reminder) of Trust and Love – you are truly an inspiration for following the spiritual path of Tantra!
Love always, Sue