Alles Gute zum Geburtstag Steve ❤.
Heute ist der 69. Jahrestag von Steves Geburt. Ich hatte schon vor einiger Zeit geplant, den größten Teil meiner Asche an diesem Tag ins Meer zu streuen. Ehrlich gesagt war ich mir nicht sicher, ob ich hier darüber schreiben sollte, weil dies ein so privater, intimer und heiliger Anlass ist, aber da am Ende etwas Lustiges, Respektloses und sogar Steve-mäßiges passiert ist, habe ich beschlossen, es zu teilen. Bitte lesen Sie nicht weiter, wenn Sie es für unangemessen halten, öffentlich über diese Zeremonie zu schreiben.
Also machten wir uns in aller Frühe um 7:00 Uhr auf den Weg: meine Freundin Bee, drei Hunde - Coco, Linus, Mamadog - und ich. Am Abend zuvor hatte ich alles für eine schöne Zeremonie vorbereitet. Es ist ein anstrengender 45-minütiger Spaziergang zum Playa Grande, Steves Lieblingsstrand, und da es hier gerade heiß und schwül ist, beschloss ich, nur meinen Bikini zu tragen. Meine anderen Sachen habe ich im Auto gelassen.
Der Strand ist etwa eine Meile lang, und es war gerade Ebbe, die perfekte Zeit, um dort zu sein. Nach einem kurzen Ritual gingen Bee und ich am Wasser entlang und verstreuten Aschestücke. Wir malten Herzen in den Sand, schrieben Liebesbotschaften mit Steves Asche und sahen zu, wie die Wellen des Ozeans sie langsam und sanft wegtrugen. Bee war das Blumenmädchen; sie ließ rote Blütenblätter und Blätter von Steves tropischen Lieblingspflanzen ins Meer fallen.
Bald war nur noch ein wenig von dem kostbaren Staub übrig, wir waren am Ende des Strandes, einem ganz besonderen Ort. Dort gibt es extrem feinen schwarzen Sand, der ideal ist, um ihn über den ganzen Körper zu reiben; es ist die ultimative natürliche Peeling-Behandlung. Diejenigen unter Ihnen, die an einem unserer tropischen Tantra-Urlaube in Tambor oder Montezuma teilgenommen haben, wissen genau, welchen Ort ich meine! Und er ist ziemlich menschenleer; es kommen nicht viele Leute vorbei. Gelegentliche Reitausflüge, das war's dann auch schon. Steve und ich haben viele Stunden damit verbracht, uns dort auszutoben.
Der Tradition folgend zog ich meinen Bikini aus und bereitete mich darauf vor, den Rest der Asche mit ins Meer zu nehmen. Ich streute etwas auf mein Herz und ging hinein. Es war wunderschön. Das Meer war warm, und ich fühlte mich sehr mit Steve, dem Leben und den Elementen verbunden. Ich öffnete meine Hand und sah zu, wie er mit dem Wasser eins wurde. Coco war direkt neben mir. Seine Asche heute und auf diese Weise zu verstreuen, ist perfekt, dachte ich. Steve hätte das gefallen.
Dann, wie aus dem Nichts, kam eine große Welle. Sie rollte über Coco und mich hinweg. Linus konnte sich gerade noch rechtzeitig retten.
Von meinem Standort im champagnerfarbenen Teil des Wassers aus sah ich, wie Bee sich abmühte, unsere Taschen an einen trockenen Ort zu bringen. Um ihr zu helfen, stieg ich so schnell ich konnte nackt aus dem Wasser.
Wir erreichten unsere Sachen, retteten unsere Snacks, die Hundeleinen usw. - und dann, ratet mal: mein Bikini war weg, nirgends zu sehen, weggespült! Wir suchten herum, zwischen den Felsen, in den Wellen, überall; aber schließlich fanden wir nur das Oberteil. Das Unterteil war im Meer verschwunden.
Die Verstreuung von Steves Asche war ein sehr heiliger, ernster und wichtiger Anlass, und doch war es ein ziemlich lustiges Ende unseres feierlichen Morgens - hier war ich am Ort unserer vielen Vergnügungen, Steve hat sich im Meer aufgelöst, und er hat meinen Bikiniunterteil mitgenommen! Ich bin sicher, dass er gut gelacht hat, wo auch immer seine Seele sein mag.
(Zum Glück hatte Bee einen Schal mitgebracht, den ich mir um die Hüften wickelte, um angezogen in die Stadt zurückzukehren).
Lovely entry. thank you Lokita. I’m sure Steve is laughing in Steve’s Heaven. His playful soul will forever live in all of us through our experiences with him and through your writings. May you always feel the sun’s warmth and the ocean’s cool water on your skin caressing you as a gentle kiss from Steve.
Thank you, Lourdes 💞
Love the story. I can hear the wild laughter.
How beautiful you can laugh again. How present they remain.
What a relief they are not completely lost to us.
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OMG! This could not have been a more perfect way to celebrate Steve. He is playing with you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!
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Great story and great experience with a laugh. I can hear Steve’s laugh as I read it.
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That is so funny – he took your panties with him. I had a good laugh and love his sense of humor, so glad you had a scarf to cover up somewhat.
Beautiful ceremony at a special place for you both and Coco. Hugs, Samvada
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That is wonderful. I love Steve and his humor. Bless you all
Lots of love to you and Hank 💞
Lokita what joy! Steve bought you laughter and love on an emotional day. I’m so glad that you shared this story of the celebration of steves birthday and the beginning of his new journey. So beautiful just like you. Your story made me feel like I was there and I laughed and cried. ❤️
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This made me smile. I dont know you yet i have followed your tantra work over many years and have read every blog you have posted. I have just felt completely touched by all that you have experienced. Reading this today, I see that Steve and I share a birth day. My first thought was no wonder…i have been following the story of another soul who entered into this middle world the same day i did, albet different years.
Many blessings,
Jennifer
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Perfect! Steve is still at his mischievous best!
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Yes! He would have laughed hard -So, both of you!
💞 Sending love to you and Laurent
Thank you, dear Lokita, for this heart share and all the others I have read during this awesome journey … love,
Ruth
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Crying and laughing at the same time.!!!
💞 sending love
What a wonderful intimate sharing. I can hear Steve laughing as well, always the man of humor. Many blessings to you.
💞 I am so touched that everyone who knew Steve really feel him in this story, too
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. Yes, I do believe that Steve was there with you, and that he stole your panties! It is so perfect! Happy Birthday Steve…. We all miss you so much. And thank you Lokita for putting this lovely smile on my face. The last picture of you with the scarf around your hips is great. Nice way to start my morning with some laughter and a smile 😀
💞 Yes.
Thank you for sharing, Lokita! Sure sounds like our Steve!…
💞 Sure does! Hope all is well with you
❤️
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Thank you, Lokita, for letting us take part in this intimate celebration. I read every post of yours, and feel grateful for your honesty and depth. In general I can say I learn from all these posts about the strength, acceptance and vulnerability we all share.
You have a wonderful way of inviting us to be part of every step, using the words you do, and also the presence in them that brings me close to your soul by reading and sensing it all. Your words are luminous. One day when all has become peaceful inside, and found its place in your being, please create a book with all these entries that will guide others towards transformation, that is only possible with tremendous courage, willingness to face the unknown, trust and vulnerability.
May we, and all beings, find the courage and strength when our time comes to meet the “fierce grace” in loss, death, sickness and old age.
With great love- Veetman
Thank you Veetman, for your comment. Thank you for your encouragement. It means a lot to me. I like the term “fierce grace”. Meeting her has been so challenging, opening and deeply changing for me. I send you lots of love. Perhaps we will get to meet one day 💞
Hmmm, Steve wants you to be free too! <3
You know, I was wondering about that, too. The story is sweet and what do the “stolen panties” really symbolize, if anything? It has occurred to me that he would wish for me to be free. Mind you, I was always free with him, too. 💞
Beautiful, Lokita! We love you guys soooooooooo much!! Tears of joyful upliftment…
Dearest Holly and Brian, I send you love and heartful greetings. Have been thinking about you. 💞
Lovely, Sacred.
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What a beautiful ceremony filled with meaning, life and laughter. Thank you for sharing the wholeness!
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Both Steve & you continue to make positive change in the world.
💞 Couldn’t do it without you 💞
I think it was the perfect ceremony and Steve would have loved it. In fact, perhaps he orchestrated the whole event….. a precious memory which has left me smiling for you!
Much love to you and Steve.
It was absolutely perfect. 💞
That is SO Steve! So funny! Such a trickster to play with you that way. We love you, Steve! 💜🎶🕉️💜
💞 sending love to you and your beloved
Lokita,
My My how you travel…. You were just here in Marin. So glad the laughs were there as I giggled with you…… He would have not wanted anything different. God speed and Gods love. please do not go away as I enjoy and learn from you each post.
Thank you, Tandy. I am not going anywhere. I am right here. 💞
What a beautiful and precious way to honor your beloved. I love that Steve was right there with you playing tricks and sending you a message.
💞 yes.
I love this so, so much. Made me laugh out loud, Lokita. I read your blog often and am so touched by you, your big, strong heart and how you are living your life after all of this. Go GIRL. And thank you so much for sharing yourself at such a deep level.
Thank you, Kristin. Sometimes I wonder about sharing so much intimate experience through my blog, but it is also a lifeline for me, knowing that so many people benefit from my experiences in some way 💞 Thanks for reading.
Thank you so much for sharing this special intimate celebration with us, it is PERFECTLY fitting for Steve and his humor, and he was right there with you, that wave was HIM, his spirit, grabbing you into playfulness and taking a part of “you” with him into the waters…the water as emotion, rumbling and churning, and then spitting you back to safety, and then, the laughter of all of it. DIVINE….
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Perfect.
yes 💞
hahahaha, I am still smiling. What a fantastic experience and story. i love it.
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Lokita, this is just perfect! I can totally see him smiling in delight. Well done.
Sweet 💞
Steve’s playful spirit and joy in life is part of what drew my partner David and I to do several Tantra classes with you both. It is also what helped me to discover and accept and love myself and my sexuality.This is absolutely perfect and fitting. Love that it happened and that you embraced it all!!
💞 I had no choice but to embrace it 🙂
Yes! Happy Birthday, Steve! What a wonderful, touching, romantic, playful celebration! You look so beautiful in your scarf and your smile made me smile. Love, Sue
Lovely Sue, thank you. I see you smiling right now 💞
Lokita, I just love it so much, since you told me live that very funny story – Steve’s letzter Streich – yesterday,I could not get a smile out of my head 😊😀
When we’re totally one with nature we are in our best, and
all these funny and magic things happen!!❤️❤️ Love love…
Big hug, Claudia
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Great, great story, and well told. Thanks! Love you!
💞 Love to you
Reminds me of Krishna and the gopis. Yes, Steve is still a rascal –he loves in a fun, light-heated way. And you are still his perfect mate. These stories always make me cry and remember my special memories of Steve. To me, he has always been like Krishna, sharing his love so freely with everyone in a playful rascally kind of way. He’s still playing. Sometimes when I wonder if I will ever discover my perfect mate, I feel Steve is right there encouraging me.
💞 I wish you all the very best, Ava
This is just TOO FUNNY! What a perfect story. Thanks for sharing.
Much Love and hilarity,
Bet
There can be hilarity in even the most serious, sacred moments. That’s one of the great mysteries of life, I think 💞
Thank you for sharing… I am crying and laughing at the same time! Keep writing your journal Lokita… you are touching and helping more people than you know!
Thank you, Laurie. It helps me to write and to know others are touched and helped. 💞
Hi Lokita,
I met Steve in a men’s workshop class facilitated by Jim Benson, in 2005. Steve joined us in several of the classes, missing a few, yet always there and included. This man, Steve Carter, lives in my memory, like apricot pie and my favorite lovemakings. I knew right away when I met him in class that he was a soul to be reckoned with…
My amazing memory I wish to share, as I remember it so often, is:
Jim had us break away into pairs. Steve and I join in and our focus is to ask the other, “Are you worthy of my trust?”. We fixed our gaze into each other, and me, quickly losing my discomfort in staring into another man’s face, realize I am at ease gazing at this man Steve. I think to myself, this man is a marvelous man. I then think this man knows he is marvelous, he thinks it is superfluous, and he counters in my mind that He thinks I am marvelous too. We pause our silent discussion, and then he does the unthinkable.
He laughs. He laughs for the fun of it, and he laughed asking me to join him in this 😂 laugh. We both start laughing to our hearts content, knowing the other men in the room just might start laughing too. And yes they all do, even Jim laughs and I will always remember this moment. I will always remember the best laugh is just to laugh.
I always wished to take a class with you both. My partners weren’t drawn to it like me, so I haven’t.
Tonite I am looking into a genuine Tantra program for myself, even if I must attend alone. I am once again inspired, as I always will be from that laugh with Steve.
Another person I have more recently been inspired to learn more about Tantra practices, has been Psalm Isadora, who passed away recently, last March. Next teacher I am inspired to learn tantra from I will jump on and not wait.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share this.
By the way, I loved your recent experience on the beach, celebrating Steve… I loved him that much…
blessed be,
Robert Gurley
Thank you, Robert, that is a sweet memory of Steve. I wish you all the best on your tantric path <3