YES! Teaching Tantra Again

YES, I will be teaching Tantra again! I wrote the following blog post a couple of months ago but am only ready to share it publicly now. Here it goes: For the longest time, I didn’t listen to music. After Steve died, hearing any kind of melody tore me apart. It has gotten a lot better, and a couple of months ago I even decided to listen to one of my favorite dance songs that we used to play during our workshops. My body fell into dance movements, gently and totally by itself, when out of the blue, as if struck by lightning, I realized that I want to continue teaching and coaching Tantra. Believe me, it was a complete surprise for me!

It had never occurred to me that I would teach again; what – without my beloved? Impossible.

So, I slept over the insight, and awoke the next morning with a new purpose – to schedule Tropical Tantra Coaching at my home in Costa Rica. I started writing the description, and was at the third paragraph when an email came in from a couple wanting to receive private Tantra lessons from me. That week! Wow, the universe responds really quickly, I thought! Amazing. I confirmed my availability with them.

Then I realized that I didn’t have a partner to do the demonstrations with, oh no! What now? I called around to see if I could find a suitable single man (not one in a relationship, too complicated) who might like to learn from me and demonstrate certain practices. Not one suitable candidate appeared. Hm. I slept over it again, and awoke the next morning with the memory that Steve and I had video-recorded many of our demos in workshops in 2009. I had never actually watched that material.

After reviewing various external hard drives, I found the footage. It was so beautiful! Here are Steve and I in 2009 at Omega Institute in New York. Me with long hair, two beautiful breasts, him in his favorite silk shirt, smiling. I watched about an hour of us talking to the group about Tantra and then demonstrating the Sacred Space ritual.

When I watched it, I did not feel sad, and I did not miss Steve. I just looked at these two beautiful people, their passion and love and humor and connection, and I felt so blessed to have been part of this wild and wonderful journey of teaching all these hundreds of workshops with Steve. We really did make a difference with our work and our love!

I feel such joy at seeing him on the video, uncensored, talking to the group, not edited, just him and me the way we did things together in the workshop. For the first time since he died, I can look at him and simply be in love. Not in grief or loss or mourning, but in love and appreciation for what we created together.

I decided then and there to create a few videos from the material as my teaching tools that I can use for private coaching sessions. It was lovely to decide on the sequences, to laugh with Steve, to laugh at myself, and not be attached to the fact that “we”, as we once were, are no more.

I must admit that I also realized something else, something I had not quite forgotten but it had not been at the forefront of my experiencing – I have been a tantrika since I was 14 years old. I practiced Tantra in many ways before I met Steve. We then spent 17 years together and … the tantric way of living. Now that he is gone – am I still a tantrika? Yes, I am. I am still a tantrika. I am still “me”, and I am open to teach and share from a new place of depth and experience, having faced my own mortality and witnessed that of my beloved. Of having been life-threateningly ill, and coming back to life.

My experience of Tantra has deepened in ways that I had not been able to see until then.

The clients arrived and we spent a couple of hours together. Sitting in the small circle of our threesome, I felt strong and grounded. My voice was clear and powerful. I was amazed; I could actually talk about Tantra without Steve, without crying! And I even had new things to say!

Before we started, I had set up the space with my TV and lined up the new video. When it was time,  I used it for demonstrating how to create a sacred space. It was lovely. The couple did not know Steve, they knew the story though. After the video was over, and I explained to them the different things we did, and the steps of creating a sacred space, I referred to Steve. He was in the video after all, and it was me with the long blond hair. The man had not realized when watching the video that it was Steve, and he burst into tears. It was very touching to witness that Steve is still reaching people’s hearts even though he is no longer alive in a body. What a great legacy, and what a perfect reminder to cultivate now that which doesn’t die when we leave the body behind!

It was a powerful experience in many ways. More than anything, I am elated to have reconnected with my deep, strong and pulsating inner source that is unattached to anyone or anything on the outside, to the well-spring that is ME.

So, beginning Valentine’s Day week February 10-17, 2018 I will be offering Tropical Tantra Coaching programs in Costa Rica. Looking forward to welcoming you!

PS. Thank you to Logan and the team at Ecstatic Living Institute for your love and support. ❤


29 replies
  1. Tracy
    Tracy says:

    How beautiful Lokita!!! Of course you are still a Tantrika and a teacher with even more depth and wisdom than ever before. Congratulations on your realization, rebirth and reemergence! <3 <3 <3

  2. Judy Hancock Holland
    Judy Hancock Holland says:

    How wonderful, Lokita! I also could not listen to music after my husband died, and it took a long time. I’m glad you have reached this place. Just the other day I said to my new husband that I’d like to watch your tantra video with him. I may cry when I see Steve in it, but that’s okay. You and Steve touched me and I’m grateful. I’m so glad to hear about your healing, and that you will teach again. You have a lot to offer. Blessings to you.

  3. Kamala Shalini
    Kamala Shalini says:

    I am crying! So happy to read your words! Love you Beautiful wild strong, courageous, vulnerable, adorable, wise Lokita! May you be blessed…always!

  4. Laura
    Laura says:

    Dearest Lomita. This post makes my heart sing. You are, and will always be a tantrika. Much love to you on this next part of your journey, Laurs

  5. Gwenn Cody
    Gwenn Cody says:

    Oh Lokita this is such a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here in so many ways over this mother of all life passages you’ve been in. My heart opens when I read your words. May Steve continue to be a guiding presence for all who touch you and through you, him. Blessings sister 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

  6. Alan
    Alan says:

    Thanks for sharing this revelation. It makes perfect sense. You are a Tantrika. And you are a teacher. That has not changed. How beautiful to witness your unfolding journey. You have so much experience to share with your students. Sending you love and more love. Lokita.

  7. Kavitro
    Kavitro says:

    Dear Lokita,
    Beautiful! So happy to read your words, you inspiration and your healing…I love that you found back your passion for Tantra and teaching.
    Sending so much love your way.

  8. Christina de Jongh
    Christina de Jongh says:

    Dearest Lokita…..soooooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To read this…… and your healing……!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Knowing where you come from… having been there with you…… soooo delighted and I know you as a powerful teacher….. loving this!!!!!!!! And know you will have so much to give… and evenmore and more and more…. You go Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Love you so much.

  9. Laura Bridges-Newhouse
    Laura Bridges-Newhouse says:

    I got chills of awe reading this, Lokita. Blessings and hugs to you as you venture forth, back to the path that aligns your heart with the Divine.

  10. Ane takaha
    Ane takaha says:

    WOW Lolita. So amazing in different ways…mostly the depth of your healing and re-birth. Steve is walking with you and celebrating every step. Love you, Ane

  11. Lucy Greenway
    Lucy Greenway says:

    How lovely to hear of this return to your roots. The satisfaction of teaching others has been with you for so long, this is like a big circle. Valentine’s Day in Costa Rica has special remembrances for Wayne & I – I know it will resonate and be filled with joy and love. I am very happy for you.

  12. Anne
    Anne says:

    I’ve been wondering for a long time when you would do this. It was so obvious, even to one who does not know you personally, that you are a great teacher. And that you would use all of this anguishing experience as transformation into an even greater one and be the gift to the world you were meant to be. What an integrated journey! It’s been an honor to witness it.

  13. PKFiansco
    PKFiansco says:

    I’m smiling as I read this. Good for you. This feels right for you, for your friends, for your students. You have a lot to share. IT is not over. Until it is. And that is a long way off.

  14. Sue Tobias
    Sue Tobias says:

    What a gift to the world! Your courage and strength and vulnerability and compassion are so inspiring to me and for sure countless others.
    Long Live Tantrika Lokita – wonderful teacher and friend!

  15. Laurie Loving
    Laurie Loving says:

    How do you keep saying things that so deeply touch my heart? Your spirit and love are endless and boundless. Do you know Louise Hay’s affirmation chant called “Doors”?

    “Doors closing, doors opening
    Doors closing, I am opening
    I am safe, it’s only change
    I am safe, it’s only change”

    It has a nice tune too, wish I could sing it to you…

    Big love

  16. Sonya
    Sonya says:

    Wow, this did surprise me too.
    I trust that you’ll be a better teacher than ever before. Good luck on this next brand new journey.
    Love you 💖

  17. Harmony Ananda Joyce
    Harmony Ananda Joyce says:

    Dearest Lokita,
    So delighted to hear that after all the grieving and trauma, your heart is ready once again to flow into your natural dharma. You are a strong, resilient woman with so much to give and share. My husband and I will also be in Costa Rica over Valentine’s Day offering a Couples Yoga and Intimacy Retreat at Pura Vida Spa. The video tapes will be an excellent way to bring the amazing connection you and Steve demonstrated to your students. I felt in this latest blog a total shift in your energy…it is time….time to continue your journey as a Tantric Goddess and shine your light for all to see and feel. Many blessings on your way.

  18. melantha
    melantha says:

    Tears of pure joy, “goose bumps” and a deep breath…Lokita IS Tantrika, thru and thru. Such happiness I feel for you dear soul, beautiful woman, shinning teacher, wisdom sharer. Love, Love, Love!

  19. Susan-Amanda
    Susan-Amanda says:

    Oh my goodness, so beautiful! Makes me cry happy tears. What a beautiful thing to be sharing with very special people. Your students will LOVE you and your teachings, taken to a amazingly deep, powerful and loving level. Sending blessings!

  20. Amy
    Amy says:

    Dearest Lokita,
    First thought… of course! A teacher is a teacher and YOU have been and are being mysteriously deepened and widened beyond knowing to teach again. Thank you for being you and for being the gorgeous warrior of Love that you are. Once Harbin is back up and running, I would LOVE to join you there again as you are someone I could learn from!
    All my love…


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