The typical question: “How are you, Lokita?” I find it impossible to answer. No adjective can quite describe how I am. And do I really want to get into the details? Do they really want to hear? When I look at photos of myself and see radiance, aliveness and joy, I am surprised.
Traumatic events are often blended out, I am told. Indeed the minuscule facts and even the bigger events of late, especially of the cancer experience, have already merged into the Larger History of Lokita. The other day I spoke with Susie, a woman who is currently going through breast cancer treatment.
Here I am, all alone now. The flow of close friends from California has ended. It began the day I arrived here in Costa Rica in December and my final two visitors left yesterday. The house is quiet. Coco is on extra alert, busily patrolling the grounds. Lately, many questions have been arising – where do I want to live, what I want to do, would this better, or that?