Together with my late husband Steve, I taught over 500 Tantra seminars in the US and Central America since 1999. We founded the Ecstatic Living Institute, based in Northern California, and directed Margot Anand’s teachings via the SkyDancing Tantra Institute in the USA from 2007-2015.
Steve was shot dead on October 5th, 2015 while walking our dog Coco in Fairfax, Marin County, California. The suspects stole our car. Thanks to its GPS system, they were caught shortly afterwards and are now awaiting trial for his murder, and the murder of a young woman, Audrey, two days earlier in San Francisco. It was (still is) heartbreaking and a great shock to all of us.
Steve and I got together in 1998, and we were married just a few months after meeting each other. He was my ally in this life, my beloved. Our marriage was a vibrant ocean, ever renewing and fresh, with an incredible power of transformation, and constancy. I miss him beyond comprehension.
What else could one possibly need to know about me after all this?
Since my late teens I have devoted my life to personal and spiritual growth, Tantra and meditation. One ordinary morning when I was 14, as every morning, I brushed my teeth, looked in the mirror and saw — this face. “My” face. But suddenly “my” did not make sense anymore. The face looking back at “me” was somehow no longer attached to who “I” was. That experience set me on a lifelong spiritual path.
At the local library in my small hometown in Northern Germany I found books by J. Krishnamurti, Da Free John (later: Adi Da Somraj), books on meditation, metaphysics and one day a book on Tantra by Osho (back then known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). There, I discovered that what I had experienced has a name – witness consciousness. The observer who is detached from the drama. The part that never dies. Pure awareness.
My tantric path began that day, and has been ever deepening.
My whole life I have been a universal citizen – I grew up in Germany, spent many years in India, Australia and the United States, and traveled to many countries. Those years provided me with a broad perspective of different cultures, societies and attitudes, and given me a deep appreciation for the human being in all its countless facets. And the fact that in the end, we all want the same thing.
Apart from leading Tantra seminars, I am also a passionate aquatic bodyworker, rebirthing therapist, published writer, accounting software specialist and computer consultant. I love animals, plants and nature.
To me, life is an ecstatic experience every moment. Can I be ecstatic on the peaks, as well as in the valleys of life?
Right now I am going through the biggest test of my life. Metaplastic breast cancer. Stage 3b. Rare and invasive. High rate of recurrence. And my husband was murdered.
This blog chronicles my journey with this breast cancer and the death of my beloved.
Living on the edge between life and death. Taking every moment in its eternity. This is the ultimate tantric experience for me.
11/10/15: At first this page was all about Lokita, and I wrote about Steve and me in the present tense. Rewriting it today in the past tense was simply heartbreaking.