Beyond the Time Warp

The other day I visited a friend whose adult son is receiving intense medical treatment for bipolar disorder. I like him. We met several times over the years. He asked me where I had been, he hadn’t seen me in a while. I told him about the cancer. He asked how Steve is. I replied that Steve passed away and told him the story. He asked when it was. I answered that it happened 15 months ago. He responded with, “Oh, that is quite a long time ago”.

I sat there on the comfy sofa, astonished. Dumbstruck. Took a long slow  breath. Silence in my whole being. A thunderbolt. There and then it hit me that yes, it is quite a long time ago. Period. No judgment, no attachment, just a fact. Unconditionally spoken.

I could not have received this sentence from anyone else.

Suddenly I felt so light. The burden of a bizarre time warp was lifted off my heart. The period of time since the cancer and Steve’s death had felt so NOW, so recent, so – just a couple of months. Certainly not over a year! When the young man made that statement, a veil dissolved. I felt better.

For the first time in ages I felt pure joy. I felt ok about being alive without Steve. I felt happy. Time somehow returned to normal. A strange, illuminating and certainly liberating experience.

Back in 1999, Steve and I named our signature introductory Tantra seminar “Timeless Loving“. This title now has a whole new meaning for me.

26 replies
  1. Cynthea Gillespie
    Cynthea Gillespie says:

    I love your beautiful sharings SO much. The wisdoms so simple and so profound. It elevates my own heart to read that you are experiencing joy. Thank you.

  2. Christina de Jongh
    Christina de Jongh says:

    Proof that how we feel abouT something depends on our perspective. Happy to read you can feel happy!!!!!!!!!!!Sending you love and joy,

  3. Jim
    Jim says:

    And you two gave a great gift to the world, including me, in opening our/my awareness to the infinite energy of the universe, TIMELESS LOVING. . . Now Time, the only real time that exists. Feels like that 1999 event at Breitenbush was just last year and also in my last lifetime. In what time zone does reality exist? The Infinity of all. I see this upcoming event for me as the Great Adventure. More curiosity, no fear. Love you old friend.

  4. Emily Akemon
    Emily Akemon says:

    That’s so sweet. I am overjoyed for you. Tears of happiness.

    Thank you for sharing. This post. Your love for and with Steve. Your journey.


  5. Katalina Fisher
    Katalina Fisher says:

    So happy that you feel happy again. Though it has been a long time…I agree that the time seems so short and so presently still today. The trauma is still with us all. So happy to see the post above though with the beautiful picture of you smiling. It brings comfort to my soul to see you happy again. Blessings. -Katalina

  6. Alan Revere
    Alan Revere says:

    Thanks again Lokita. Your words touch my heart. Yes, I think it’s true that time heals all wounds. It’s just a question of how much time.

  7. linda zimmerman
    linda zimmerman says:

    Powerful” ..the journey continues while entering the next chapter; I looked at your photo before reading the blog and felt a sense of comfort as you looked radiant and the photo said “I am moving on…life will never be the same..however, life is and I am going with the flow (water image) and sharing with humanity as I do”
    Thank you for all your wonderful insights and for being you!

  8. Laurie Loving
    Laurie Loving says:

    younger people, and perhaps someone with a mental illness ever more so, are much more present, immediate than those of us with decades of experiences behind us. what a blessing he gave you. love and hugs and also wanted to say what an wonderful celebration of Steve’s life!

  9. Deja
    Deja says:

    So Beautiful Lokita!! Your book is right in front of you in all you’ve shared with us along the way. Your willingness, openness, nowness and amazing ability to express it in words. I reaches deep into the heart and soul of the reader. You continue to inspire and amaze me. I Love You!

  10. Susan Pascal Beran
    Susan Pascal Beran says:

    A beautiful gift he gave you, and you received it so beautifully. Thank you for sharing your journey.
    There are many milestones along the way. I just had another. At 30 years, I was able to visit my first husband’s family with my daughter by my second husband. She was afraid, unsure of how she would be received. They received her with joy and family embrace. It was so so liberating and uplifting. Hopefully, we get lighter and lighter until~ * joy to you lovely Lokita <3

  11. Kim Stanley
    Kim Stanley says:

    Yes, beautiful, factual…helps to get perspective..AND, we are humans with emotions and need to process grief and it’s complexities, and you have had a truckload of it and health issues atop that, so please give yourself the time and permission you need in this PROCESS…LOVE!!!!

  12. Sara Firman
    Sara Firman says:

    So many people and experiences around us seem just ready to bring messages that have perfect timing … and you showing how a person can be ready to notice and listen. xxx

  13. Sue Tobias
    Sue Tobias says:

    Lokita- you look so radiant and alive! Thank you for sharing your light and joy with us – your timeless loving warms my heart and your smile is quite contagious! Love forever, Sue

  14. Laraine
    Laraine says:

    Wow Lokita, as usual your gift of insight and the translation into words is simple and profound. So happy this young man crossed your path and you are able to continue on your path with a new sense of joy. I continue to pray for healing on every level for you. Sending love.


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