The next milestone

With the milestone of the tribute behind me, Coco and I are taking the next step on our journey – traveling back to Costa Rica, the place Steve and I called home for much of the year before all hell broke loose in July last year. I have heard that after the death of a spouse, the surviving partner often finds it comforting to continue living in the shared home.

Everything is infused with the presence and memory of the beloved. The familiar setting helps to soothe the raw nerves and the broken heart. I wonder what it will be like for me. Will I hate it there and go crazy feeling the loss of Steve everywhere? Or will I feel good, finally to be back at the place we both nourished, loved and cared for very deeply? Or maybe it will be a bit of both.

Coco for sure will be super happy! The many neighborhood dogs are her friends, she is free to roam, there are beach visits and swims in the warm ocean every day, sunbathing on the hot lawn, barking at monkeys in the trees… life is good! Coco will be my gentle guide into this new experience, and help me with presence and joie de vivre as only a dog can!

As with trembling knees I gather my strength once again, I pledge to go forth with as much awareness as I can muster, and to be open to life and the love of my friends and community there; here and everywhere.




21 replies
  1. Grace
    Grace says:

    The memorial was a beautiful tribute to Steve and hearing his recorded voice made it feel as if he were right there with us.

    Thank you for creating the opportunity for us to come together and make peace with Steve’s passing. Much love, Grace

  2. Judi Finney
    Judi Finney says:

    You are so very beautiful Lokita. I know that you and Steve had dreams of hosting and leading retreats in Costa Rica. If you should decide to further this dream, in your own way, I would very much love to know of this and consider attending. My husband Steve and I had plans to come to your retreat once you were settled in Costa Rica. We had the delight of hearing about your vision when we first met you and Steve at Breitenbush two years ago. Blessings to you and Coco as you embark on the next step in your journey.

  3. Mark Zila
    Mark Zila says:

    I am glad you will be returning to Costa Rica. I know how much you both loved it. The memorial for Steve was beautiful! I was so happy to see you again. All my love to you and Coco for a wonderfully ecstatic life in Costa Rica!

  4. PKFiasco
    PKFiasco says:

    You are the best. I marvel at the wisdom, honesty and authenticity of your life during the past 18 months. You have taught us all how to live during times of adversity with your openness and willingness to let us in. Thanks, Lokita. You are teaching all of us how to be of service.

  5. Mara Laxmi Ma Schiff
    Mara Laxmi Ma Schiff says:

    Lokita – I watched the tribute live online. It was simply beautiful, and captured Steve eloquently in words, pictures and memories. The final picture during the Om Mani Padme Om chant was exquisite. I wish you peace, joy and love on your journey back to Costa Rica and I hope our paths cross again one day. Your are one of my heroes. I will always hold you and Steve in my heart.

    Mara Laxmi Ma Schiff

  6. Judy Hancock
    Judy Hancock says:

    Blessings on you, Lokita. When my husband died, I liked living in our shared home for the first year and then I moved to begin a new life. You will find your own way forward in a way that is just right for you.

  7. Avinasho
    Avinasho says:

    I send you all our love for this next step in your journey, Lokita!
    That was a beautiful, moving tribute to Steven on Saturday! I was happy to
    be able to see the video. Thank you! Much love and good wishes from both of us!

  8. Eleonora Nicolaisen
    Eleonora Nicolaisen says:

    All be well. Whatever happens in your life, you take it philosophically. Any life situations help you go ahead and to shine even brighter! Love you. Regards from Elja,Helmuth, Nico, Sophia

  9. Lourdes
    Lourdes says:

    Thank you for recording Steve’s life’s celebration; since I was not able to be there in person, it meant a lot to me! May you continue to find new meaning to live life fully, just as Steve would desire for you. I hope to see you someday, maybe in Costa Rica. Sending love and hugs your way.

  10. Susan Douglass
    Susan Douglass says:

    The ceremony Saturday was beautiful Lokita. I felt cracked open through the next day and it still lingers. I feel immense gratitude for being included on your journey through the darkness, all the while holding the light to share with the rest of us. You are the real deal sister, and I’m so happy Steve found you to share his life and dreams with. Blessings on this next chapter.

  11. Holly and Brian
    Holly and Brian says:

    Thank you for the space you held so exquisitely, with Coco’s assistance, at the Tribute for Steve. Thinking of you and Coco in Costa Rica now. What a full circle you have traveled! Have you reconnected with Zuma yet? Sending Love as the journey continues to unfold…

    • Lokita Carter
      Lokita Carter says:

      No, I haven’t seen Zuma yet, she was adopted by another very loving family. My heart aches to see her, but I am afraid, too, because she is my beloved puppy who grew up with me. So I will wait to see her….

  12. Anne
    Anne says:

    Costa Rica is such a healing place – surely there will be many welcoming arms for you. I hope you will keep us posted, as those of us who do not know you personally have come to care much for you over the past year of sharing your journey. May all your worst trials be over and a time of immense blessings beginning. Wishing you and Coco well.


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